Malinda Lo
Blog
Jun 9, 2010
Avoiding LGBTQ Stereotypes in YA Fiction, Part 3: Words to watch out for – UPDATED
After yesterday’s think-heavy post about gender, today I’m going practical with a post about words to watch out for when writing about LGBTQ characters. Here are the other posts in this series:
Part 1: Major LGBTQ stereotypes
Part 2: Gender
Part 3: Words to watch out for
Part 4: Secondary characters and gay jokes
Part 5: Resources
You should check out the introduction to the first post if you haven’t read it yet. On to part 3!
Words to Watch Out For
The most important thing you can do as a writer is pay attention to your word choices. Certain words and phrases have connotations beyond their dictionary meanings, and they can inadvertently contribute to stereotypes or read as offensive.
I’m not saying that these words should not be used. I’m saying that writers need to be aware of these meanings, so that they can use the words appropriately. As a writer, I don’t think any words are inherently evil, and sometimes inflammatory words are not only useful, they’re necessary. Just make sure that when you use a word, it’s the right one for the situation.
I also want to note that a word that is derogatory when used by someone who is not a member of the LGBTQ community can also be a note of pride when used by someone who is queer. (Similarly, jokes about Asian American identity, when delivered by an Asian American comedian, can be funny to Asian Americans. When a non-Asian American comedian makes jokes about Asian Americans, I’m betting that most Asian Americans don’t think it’s funny.)
Here are some words1 I think you should be aware of when writing about LGBTQ characters:
Updated 6/10/10: General terms about LGBTQ people
Here are some very widely used terms about LGBTQ people, for reference:
- homo – generally offensive, though is sometimes jokingly used by in-group members
- homosexual – These days, this word has distinct homophobic connotations due to the word’s medical history and usage by the anti-gay right. See this article for more info.
- lesbian – a woman who is attracted to other women
- gay – a person who is attracted to someone of the same sex; more often refers to men than women
- bisexual – a person who is attracted to both men and women
- transgender – a person who is transitioning from one gender to another
- queer – a person who is not heterosexual and chooses to identify as queer
- LGBTQ, GLBTQ – the acronym typically used to describe Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer people; or, Gay, Lesbian Bisexual, Transgender, Queer people
Words that tend to describe gay men
Many of the words used to describe gay men indicate “unnatural” femininity in a man, thereby supporting stereotypical portrayals of gay men. In some cases, these words are offensive (generally when used by non-LGBTQ people), but they can also be used by gay men to describe themselves in campy ways.
- butch – a masculine gay man
- fag, faggot – offensive term for a gay man; occasionally used by gay men among themselves
- flaming – extremely flamboyant
- limp-wristed – weak, excessively feminine; can be offensive
- nancy, pansy, sissy – an effeminate gay man; generally offensive
- queen – an effeminate gay man; sometimes sounds old-fashioned
- swishy – indicates an excessive femininity; can be offensive
Words that tend to describe lesbians
Similarly, many of the words used to describe lesbians indicate “unnatural” masculinity in a woman and support stereotypes. Some of these words are used by lesbians themselves as proud identities, but they can also be derogatory if used by someone who is homophobic.
- bull dagger, bull dyke, diesel dyke – an extremely masculine woman; rarely used by younger lesbians today but in the past was a lesbian identity
- butch – a masculine woman; can be a positive identity or a negative judgement
- dyke – a lesbian; can be offensive, but many lesbians use it today as an ordinary word or to indicate pride
- femme – a feminine lesbian identity
- lez, lezzie – a lesbian; can be derogatory, but some lesbians use it as campy slang
- lipstick lesbian – a lesbian who is more feminine than masculine; this term tends to be used by heterosexuals to describe extremely feminine lesbians, but is usually not used by lesbians
- mannish – old-fashioned adjective for an unnaturally masculine woman; usually derogatory
Words about bisexuals
There are few words used to describe bisexuals. No doubt this is because bisexuality can be so easily erased; people choose to not see it, even if it exists2.
- pansexual, omnisexual – someone who is attracted to more than one gender
- bicurious – a straight person (usually female) who is interested in someone of the same sex; implies a lack of seriousness and, as far as I know, is often used by queer people to joke about straight girls kissing other straight girls for the benefit of their boyfriends
- heteroflexible – a straight person who could be attracted to a queer person in the right situation; I believe this word has kind of a humorous feel to it
Words about transgender identities
Trans folk are, by definition, undergoing a transition, so their identities are changing. The words they use to describe themselves are also changing; it’s important to ask them how they wish to be described. Following are some basic terms to keep in mind:
- female to male, or FTM – a person who was born female and is transitioning to male
- genderqueer – someone who does not identify as traditionally male or female
- male to female, or MTF – a person who was born male and is transitioning to female
- she-male, he-she – offensive slang for a trans person
- tranny – offensive slang for transsexual
- trans – short for transgender; no offensive connotations as far as I know
- trans folk – transgender people
It’s impossible to list every word that may arise relating to LGBTQ people3. What I hope these lists do is get you thinking about your word choices, especially as they relate to LGBTQ characters and their gender expression. None of these words are wrong, but they do have histories. It’s your job as a writer to take that history into account.
Are there any words relating to LGBTQ people you’re confused about? Do you have any to contribute? Please leave them in the comments! Don’t forget: Comments will be moderated, and homophobia is not tolerated on my website.
I find that my writing is more engaging if I stay away from labels and describe appearances and behavior, allowing the readers to assign whatever labels feel right to them.
The one exception to this is dialog, wherein a character may use a label to describe another character. When I do, I’m very conscious of the connotations certain labels may have and how those connotations (whether positive, negative or both) play into the nature of the character using those labels.
For example, I would never use the word “faggot”. But perhaps a homophobic character or even a gay male character in one of my stories might. Such a character might even wrongly use that word to describe a trans woman.
When I allow such an epithet into my dialog, I consider what consequences there should be in the story for using the label. How does it develop a given character and change or enhance that character’s relationship to others in the story? I also consider how various readers may react to it.
Thanks for bringing up these topics.
Thanks for your comment, Dharma. I also want to draw your attention to the words you use when describing appearances and behaviors. That’s where I often find stereotypes in books that the author may not have intended. (I’m not saying you do this, as I haven’t read your work!) For example, if a gay boy is always referred to using effeminate adjectives, but no other character development occurs, that results in a stereotype.
I definitely agree that offensive words used in dialogue can be extremely effective in certain contexts.
One of the things I try to do is present a wide range of people that reflects the diversity of the community. And if a character does display characteristics that are considered stereotyped, I try to make that the least interesting thing about them.
In my first novel (now considered one of my “practice novels”), I had a gay male couple. One was masculine, the other a bit more flamboyant. I didn’t focus on that much. What made the characters interesting was their individual relationships with the protagonist of the story (a femme lesbian) and their conflicting approaches to dealing with major story events. That’s what I focused on when these characters were involved in a scene.
Working with stereotypes is challenging and should be done mindfully, but to avoid all stereotypes risks presenting a world that doesn’t pass the sniff test.
I’ve been really enjoying these posts. I have a good number of queer characters in my books (and identify as such myself), and certain points – like how rare it is for fiction to examine how much more problems/homophobia effeminate gay men tend to encounter – I haven’t seen before in these kinds of posts.
This is an excellent glossary, too, though isn’t pan/omni basically someone who can be attracted to anyone, male, female, genderqueer, neutral, or anything else? That’s how I’ve always seen it used; “more than one gender” could encompass that, but it made me think of bi before pan/omni. Could just be me!
It sounds silly, but I’d contribute words like homosexual as well, because, well, I mostly see that word used by straight people, not gay people. It’s a very clinical way of describing someone/something, so in my opinion it tends to have a different, more detached connotation. And, honestly, when used as a noun, it sounds pretty distasteful, or at the very least uninformed. The only time I hear it used by gay people is in joking contexts. So that might be something people would want to be aware of, too. Same with homophilia – some people use that word without realising its history/implications.
As far as trans goes, I’ve met some trans people who hate the term ‘transmen’ or ‘transwomen’, because it implies they’re something different from just ‘men’ and ‘women’; they tend to prefer a space, so it’s ‘trans men’ or ‘trans women’. (And then only in a context where the ‘trans’ aspect is relevant. Otherwise they’re obviously just plain ‘men’ and ‘women’.)
This is by no means universal, and a lot of people have conflicting opinions, but again it’s something people might want to be aware of and look into before they write about it.
Just my two cents. Looking forward to the other posts!
Being a transwoman myself, and having been a part of the trans/gender-variant community for nearly 20 years, I’ve found most in the community don’t have a problem with transwoman or transman, provided they are used correctly (I routinely find the news media using them incorrectly, e.g., describing a MtF trans person as a transman rather than as a transwoman.
There are some that don’t adopt either of those identities, feeling that it suggests that we aren’t “real” men and women. But they tend to be the exception rather than the rule.
The term “tranny” is considered offensive when used by cisgender (non-trans) people, but usually acceptable when used by members of the trans community. Context is everything.
Thanks for your comment, Corinne. I guess I completely skipped over the major ones (homosexual, lesbian, gay), thinking they were too obvious. But maybe I’ll update the post with those more well-known words, too.
You know, I’ve heard the term cisgender used online a lot recently, but it’s pretty unfamiliar to me. Can you explain what it is and how to use it? I don’t believe the word has traveled into mainstream usage yet, but I’m still curious. Thanks!
Cisgender basically means someone whose assigned gender at birth matches their current gender identity and gender presentation. “Cis” is Latin for “same”, I believe.
It bothers me so much when people use terms like “lesbian” as adjectives (like this recent debacle where Miley Cyrus “simulated lesbian kissing”)… It makes me want to tear my hair out!
Here’s hoping I know what an adjective is.
I apologize to have to ask what is a silly question that lots of people already know the answer to, but what is a boi? It’s a word I see often but have no idea what a boi refers to.
Thanks for these recent posts — they’re really enlightening….especially for me as I”m still very much in the closet and don’t have many LGBTQ friends or community to turn to.
A boi is a gender identity assumed by some who were born female but who identify on the male/masculine side of androgynous, but generally not as far as wanting to transition fully (e.g. taking testosterone and/or having surgery).
Of course, this is a very general definition. There may be self-identified bois who fall outside of that definition.
For those who are interested in learning more about gender variance, I highly recommend Kate Bornstein’s book “My Gender Workbook”. Not only is it a great reference, it is also entertaining.
Thanks for your question, Chris! I think that Dharma Kelleher’s definition below for boi is very good. If you’re interested in reading a book that includes a boi as a character, you should check out Mayra Lazara Dole’s Down to the Bone.
Reading these comments reminded me of an episode of Bones where an androgynous Japanese (I think) anthropologist (again, I think) helped on a case, and all of the main characters were trying to figure out if the anthropologist was a man or a woman. I was wondering how that episode comes across to people in the GLBTQ community.
Thanks again for this series!!
My sister is trans (MTF) and I have a number of trans friends (FTM), and the word “tranny” I have certainly used in the “campy, positive/reclaimed” context as well.
“Cisgender” is just non-transgendered. It came about because there was no opposing word to use (i.e. a non-homosexual person is heterosexual, a non-heterosexual person is homosexual), and people were using “normal” or “gender-comfortable” in academic texts – Ouch! So the coining of the phrase “cisgender” became necessary.
Very, very poorly.
I love Bones, but a lot of the episodes make me incredibly angry.
+1 to this! I love Bones, but if I start watching an episode and the case relates at all to sex and sexual relations that aren’t purely vanilla and 100% heteronormative, I know I have to stop watching or end up ripping out a lot of my hair (and really HATING Booth. Especially since, as the show’s gone on, Brennan has become less likely to defend others to Booth – unsurprisingly, since every time she encounters them they turn out to be murderers). It’s an enormous flaw in an otherwise really enjoyable show.
Would you describe Ellen DeGeneres as a boi …
Heh, I was actually going to suggest you add the term ‘cis’ to your post, because a lot of cis people ARE unfamiliar with it, and I think it’s an important term to know. Possibly not /so/ relevant to writing, given the uncommonness of the term, but it could be helpful to some people.
I think are more relevant question is, would Ellen DeGeneres describe Ellen DeGeneres as a boi?
A lot of the time definitions are broad, complicated, or lack clear definitions, and the best thing to go by is self-identification.
I think Pansexual is more accuratly described as being attracted to someone regardless of gender, or maybe being attracted to more than TWO genders. Since bisexual implies only being attracted to males and females, whereas there are more genders than just those two.
Of course I am tempted to throw the term “asexual” into the mix, but I don’t think there are very many authors planning to write about asexual characters just yet.
I think its a good idea to get the meanings of these words out there, so people at least know what they’re using. Nothing’s worse than seeing someone use a word while clearly misunderstanding what it actually means.
I do have a question about words that’s been needling me since I first clicked over to your first post here (in this series I mean). You referred to reclaiming the word “queer.” But it seems like it hasn’t been that long in history– no more than a generation, maybe even less– since “queer” meant simply “odd” in general– obviously, because it meant “odd,” it was often used derogatorially, but not necessarily for any particular brand of oddness. So if it’s already come out the other side as being reclaimed by a group that only recently got saddled with THE negative connotation– I just wonder where that leaves the use of the word in its old, broad sense. I mean, it’s a little different than “gay” once meaning “cheerful,” because obviously if you are using “gay” as an insult you’re not going to be mistaken for meaning “cheerful,” and even so that use of the word is much less common, at least until Christmastime when everyone starts singing “Deck The Halls” and getting all embarrassed again. But “queer” as “odd” is not only more likely to be mistaken for derogatory, it’s also still much more prelevent in more modern literature and media. There’s that great line in the old Sesame Street song with a 26-letter-long-title, “It starts out like an A-word as anyone can see, but somewhere in the middle it gets awful ‘Q-R’ to me,” a pun that totally doesn’t work without the broad connotation. When I was a kid I used to love this series of mysteries called “Something Queer is Going On.” And I’m not sure what I’m trying to ask exactly, it’s just that it seems the evolution of the language has gone so QUICKLY (I’m only 32! That is not fuddy-duddy back-in-my-day age yet!) from perfectly-acceptable-synonym-for-odd to reclaimed-by-one-group-tread-carefully that I don’t know where it stands.
I’m writing a thesis on Ellen DeGeneres … In the first two chapters I I focused on Ellen’s normalness, that is, her cross-marketability … her accessibility and her likeability … In the third chapter I argue that it is this normalcy that can also code her as queer … I offer the premise that The Ellen DeGeneres Show is a site of queer discourse and the persona of Ellen DeGeneres performs queerness on it … I would welcome any input …
As far as I know, “queer” still definitely means “odd.” I’ve used it as such, and I love the fact that it is a word with multiple layers. In Sarah Waters’ Victorian novels, she uses the word “queer” to mean odd, but simultaneously it’s clear she’s also using it to mean lesbian. I love the word. I think it suggests so many things, depending on context.
Hi! I got linked to this series and love it. But I would like to throw “asexual” out as a useful word for your list. It’s a rough sexuality to be, when even the LGBTQ community tends to ignore its existence. (Coming out has an extra hideous layer when you have to explain what you’re coming out as.)
My usual definition is:
asexual – someone with little or no interest in sexual contact, may or may not be interested in romantic relationships with either gender, may or may not masturbate
Words can be really tricky, especially when using reclaimed labels and *most* especially when you are not of the minority you’re speaking of. When writing and choosing terminology, I think, Malinda, you made a very good point: unless someone is using an offensive term to be presented as a bigot or homophobic or just ignorant, let your queer characters claim words as part of their own identity. Let them use the words to describe themselves. Not only will this immediately give them more realism (depending on which words they choose) but it allows them to be defined by more than just their orientation.
I think the key is writing your character as a whole person. If you asked me who I am, for example, my first response wouldn’t be “I’m a lesbian.” Yes, it would be in the top 10, but I would also say “I’m a writer. I’m an artist. I’m a dancer. I’m an activist. I’m a woman. I’m a Christian. I’m a survivor. I’m a future mother. I’m a protector. Oh yeah, and I’m a lesbian.” Being lesbian is very important to me and I draw pride from belonging to the queer community, but it’s not all I am. Characters should be presented the same way. I don’t think any character should be gay just to be gay. How boring would that be?
Good point — identities are usually multiple. I totally agree.