Another book I would recommend is “The Knife of Never Letting Go”.

I will say that I think you did an excellent job of doing just that (in a more YA way obviously, haha) in Ash. I thought the relationship between Ash and the Huntress was perfectly built up.

Also, I want to say that love at first sight shouldn’t get a bad rap. All love starts with a spark that seems to come from nowhere – whether it’s love at first sight or friendship that suddenly sparks to something more – there’s a shift that comes out of the blue.

I loved Fingersmith by Sarah Waters so please if you haven’t read that yet, read it! It’s also suspenseful and mysterious and sensual and romantic.

I agree with many of the others already mentioned…I’ll just go ahead and add a few of my own favorites…

There Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston – I love that it begins when a young girl realizes with relish that she is like an open flower, waiting for a bee. So many love stories begin with the promise of a beautiful young girl ready for love – but Hurston writes from inside the heart of that girl, expectant, waiting to be courted. It’s not a happy ending, but it’s one of the best, most nuanced love stories ever told.

Howl’s Moving Castle – This is such a strange fable-like story – no-one is what they seem to be. Howl acts like a brooding teenage boy and is rumored to eat the hearts of young girls, but he is also a powerful wizard and under some sort of dangerous spell. Sophie is also under a spell – one that makes her appear to be an old woman. When she takes refuge with Howl, her old-lady personality makes a good match for his melodrama, but you think her love will be unrequited because, well, she’s a grandma. When the spells are broken, you realize that the grandma and the young girl are both part of who she is.

A Room with A View – E.M. Forster writes about class division in a way that makes you understand why women went stark raving mad in the nineteenth century. The first impulsive moments of contact between the lovers are almost accidental and at first the young man seems crazy to be so passionately in love so quickly. But gradually the accident begins to seem like fate or good luck because you realize that her only chance at happiness is to embrace his insane loyalty to their love.

The Horse-Dealer’s Daughter and You Touched Me by D.H. Lawrence – Nothing could be more intensely romantic than these short stories. In each one a chance encounter leads to an intimacy that can’t be denied. In each story the intimacy ends up being a welcome relief from a cold world. But they are surprising, sudden accidents: in the Horse-Dealer’s Daughter a veterinarian taking a short-cut becomes the savior of a young woman who mistakes this act for love – but he finds he doesn’t want to disabuse her of that notion. In You Touched Me a case of mistaken identity leads to a single caress that breaks through a proper young woman’s shell. The characters almost literally trip and fall into love or, to be precise, into an awareness of desire that opens the door onto what looks like love. We leave the short stories too soon to know what will happen, but Lawrence lets us hope it will be good.

When it comes out in May, pick up Illyria by Elizabeth Hand. It’s a love story about a love that is secret and forbidden, but also magical, passionate and deep.

The Rapture of Canaan – Sheri Reynolds – About a young woman discovering her own desires in a strict fundamentalist Christian sect. A stay-up-all-night read.

I really agree with this post. If the buildup is done right then one look or word can leave the reader and characters breathless. I love romance with a long, slow build of tension. But I also love romance that happens as part of people’s everyday lives–especially with good communication. So many cliche romance novels or movies manufacture misunderstandings to keep their couple apart, so it’s really refreshing to me when characters speak frankly and reasonably to each other about their relationship.

I do sometimes like to read about characters who are overly co-dependent, maybe because it lends itself to those hyper-strong emotions. But it has to make sense– such characters often live highly traumatic or isolated lives. If it’s just your regular high school girl and her moody boy, I don’t buy it.

As for recs– I wish I was home so I could scan my bookshelf. I definitely second the Time Traveler’s Wife.
Sarah Rees Brennan’s The Demon’s Lexicon doesn’t deal with romantic love so much as fraternal love, but the emotional portrayal is deep and very well done (especially considering the MC isn’t good with words).
Ann Patchett’s Bel Canto is about a lot of things, but features a gorgeous, sexy romance between a translator and the terrorist girl to whom he begins teaching literacy.