Over the years I’ve gotten lots of really nice emails from readers of AfterEllen.com who say they like what I write and are generally amazing in how friendly they are. Every once in a while I get a request to answer some questions for a school project, or just for random advice about being gay. It’s flattering that folks seem to think I have any info on this that is worth sharing, but sometimes I wish that I could answer those questions in a more public forum so that other people can chime in and say “Hey, Malinda, you’re totally wrong about this” or “Here’s a better idea for how to pick up that hot chick!” (I know lots of you have answers to that second question.)
So since I have this blog now, and I’m always looking for stuff to blather on about, I’ve decided to start my own FAQ list. They’re not necessarily frequently asked questions, but they are questions I get that I think would be fun or informative to write about on the blog. If you have a question, feel free to email me at mlo @ malindalo dot com, or leave a question in the comments sometime.
First up is a question I often get from students who have visited AfterEllen.com while doing a research project, and concluded that I must know The Answer to this: How are lesbians and gay people typically represented in the media?
Unfortunately, there is no Answer. There are lots of smaller answers that add up to a complicated and ever-changing, well, stew of things. But if you want an extremely simplified summary of my opinion on how gays and lesbians are represented in the media, I will start off by saying that I know nothing about how gay men, bisexual or transgender people are represented, so please don’t apply what I’m about to say to gay men, bi or trans folk. OK? OK.
Extremely simplified summary of my opinion on how lesbians are represented in the media:
At this time, November 2008, lesbians are very vocally represented in the media by out lesbian celebrities (Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, Rosie O’Donnell, and more recently Rachel Maddow), but they are practically invisible in film and television. There are zero lesbian regular characters on prime-time network television, and the only lesbians on cable are on South of Nowhere, which will end in a few weeks, and The L Word, which will begin its final season in January 2009. The lesbian characters we see on television are almost universally feminine, thin, and white (with a few exceptions on The L Word). There is a distinct lack of lesbian characters who are not white, thin and feminine (e.g., you rarely see any genderqueer or butch lesbians on-screen, and you pretty much never see any women who are larger than a size 2, anyway).
What does this mean?
In my opinion, this leads to a world in which lesbians can be famous, but they can’t have sex. Ellen, Rosie, and Rachel are all hilarious in their own different ways, and they are all harmless when it comes to their sexuality because they have basically been desexualized by their humor and their androgyny, which is not understood by the mainstream. Melissa is a mother and spends more of her time on being domestic these days than being a rock star, so even her sexuality is more muted now.
The last time a lesbian had sex on television, she was fired from her show. And Spencer and Ashley do nothing more on South of Nowhere than kiss each other very delicately.
This lack of sexuality essentially strips lesbianism of its threat to heterosexuals. If you don’t think lesbianism is threatening, good for you! But a lot of conservatives disagree with you. They will say that it threatens the stability of the traditional family. And no matter how much straight men say they like to see two girls making out, they still want to imagine themselves as part of the picture. Actual lesbians don’t want to sleep with men, therefore, they are threatening to some guys’ egos.
A lot of networks (and movie studios, and basically everything else) are run by guys. You connect the dots.
Isn’t this totally depressing?
Yes and no. Yes because, well, yes it’s depressing. No, because it means that lesbians have had to create new and alternative ways of representing themselves, for themselves. For example, AfterEllen.com’s vlogs, the web series 3Way, and movies from lesbian filmmakers such as Angela Robinson all contribute to a growing cache of goodies made for lesbians, by lesbians.
And the longer I’ve been a part of reporting this scene, the more I’ve noticed that we are slowly but surely making inroads into the “mainstream.” Lesbians are all over reality television now, because we’re part of reality. And there’s tons of great fiction to be read that has been written by lesbians that includes lesbian characters. I am hopeful that this trend will continue, and someday we will actually have a lesbian character on television who actually has a (sex) life.
So … that’s the answer to FAQ #1. Got another question? Disagree with me entirely? Tell me in the comments or send me an email at mlo at malindalo dot com. Thanks!
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I’ve been really fascinated with the homespun lesbian media/entertainment that’s been cropping up lately. Last year I found myself watching the We’re Getting Nowhere vlogs about America’s Next Top Model even though I don’t watch that show.
Another venue is the youtube “collab channels” like the Beaver Bunch and QueerFAQtor. I think they’re still finding their way–sometimes the quality varies–but overall it’s neat to see people using youtube to create slightly more formal (but still homespun) queer media.
I’m not sure if these things are useful in the same way that lesbian representation in the mainstream media would be, but I find I enjoy them more in some ways. I like watching real people…and I think even a lot of reality TV isn’t “real” (and is often focused on other inane things.)
Disagree? With you? Inconceivable!
I tend to ‘forget’ that lesbians aren’t allowed to have sex on TV because of all the sex that the girls on TLW have. but it’s true, apart from TLW, the main function of lesbian sweeps-characters is to turn straight guys on. *rollseyes*
why I love TLW, I have a hard time really identifying myself with any of the ladies because they are all so beautiful, they wear expensive designer clothes all the time and they just aren’t that *real* to me. I want to see real lesbians on my TV. then again, I want to see real *woman* on TV and that alone doesn’t happen often. oh well, I’m rambling, sorry.
I have a question that is totally unrelated to entertainment. How can I casually come out to people without saying ‘I’m gay’? I don’t have a girlfriend, so it’s hard for me to just lett people know that I’m gay without making is such a big announcement.
I love this post.
You forgot The Wire. While off the air, the portrayed lesbian characters were not white, not stick skinny thin, or feminine.
Miriam, I think the problem is that having so much “home-made” content might lead people to feel ghettoized. I hope that doesn’t happen. The good thing is that I think everybody’s doing “home-made” content these days, and mainstream media is actually noticing what’s in it.
Nelfy, you are right about TLW. The extreme sexualization of lesbians on TLW is both good and bad in my opinion. Good because we need to have it somewhere, bad because I suspect it leads some TV execs to think, “Lesbians have sex on Showtime, not on network TV.” It makes TLW the big exception that proves the rule. As for the how to come out question, that is a tricky one — I’ll put it in the FAQ queue for the future, thanks!
Brenda, hi! Glad you enjoyed the post. “The Wire” did indeed have African-American lesbian characters, but since this was my super-simplified account of lesbians on TV now, “The Wire” didn’t fit into it.
Yeah, I get your point about TLW being the exception to the rule. I think there are a lot of people who think ‘Lesbians don’t need to be in straight shows, because they have their own show which doesn’t feature straight people either.’ Or at least I’ve been told that before, like ‘You have your own show, let me have mine’ – which is just wrong, because it doesn’t hurt shows to mix gays and straight people.
Cool, you’re welcome and thanks to you too!
sounds familiar… may be cos im one of those folks haha
I’m so glad I read this post (and congrats on your book–I’m from Verla’s Blue Boards.) It made me realize the book I’m currently writing (called Heteroflexible) isn’t racially diverse enough. One Hispanic and a whole lotta white girls. Time to revise!
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